Staind Lyrics

Staind Lyrics by Albums

2006-03-13T07:42:00.000-08:00

Chapter V [2005]
01 Run Away
02 Right Here
03 Paper Jesus
04 Schizophrenic Conversations
05 Falling
06 Cross to Bear
07 Devil
08 Please
09 Everything Changes
10 Take This
11 King of All Excuses
12 Reply

14 Shades of Grey [2003]
01 Price to Play
02 How About You
03 So Far Away
04 Yesterday
05 Fray
06 Zoe Jane
07 Fill Me Up
08 Layne
09 Falling Down
10 Reality
11 Tonight
12 Could It Be
13 Blow Away
14 Intro

Break The Cycle [2001]
01 Open Your Eyes
02 Pressure
03 Fade
04 It's Been Awhile
05 Change
06 Can't Believe
07 Epiphany
08 Suffer
09 Safe Place
10 For You
11 Outside
12 Waste
13 Take It

Dysfunction [1999]
01 Suffocate
02 Just Go
03 Me
04 Raw
05 Mudshovel
06 Home
07 A Flat
08 Crawl
09 Spleen

Chapter V [2005]

2005-10-31T04:35:00.000-08:00

Run Away

I'm still scared. Afraid of failing
Anticipating, the ride to end.
before the wheels begin to move.

(Run away) So I can hide.
(Run away) I've mastered feeling nothing.
(Run away) I'm dead inside.
(Run away) Why don't I care?

Waste my time, commiserating,
Self medicating - it's my design
Although I know you don't approve

(Run away) So I can hide.
(Run away) I've mastered feeling nothing.
(Run away) I'm dead inside.
(Run away) Why don't I care?

The truth is that I'm not so good
At showing how I feel.
Or keeping my mouth shut
When there's something to conceal.
Or knowing how to love,
Love's not in my memories
How can I rise above
All my insecurities

(Run away) So I can hide.
(Run away) I've mastered feeling nothing.
(Run away) I'm dead inside.
(Run away) Why don't I care?

(Run away) I fight the tide
(Run away) The ebb and flow consumn
(Run away) Still by my side
(Run away) Why should you care?

Right Here

I know I've been mistaken
But just give me a break and see the changes that I've made
I've got some imperfections
But how can you collect them all and throw them in my face

But you always find a way to keep me right here waiting
You always find the words to say to keep me right here waiting
And if you chose to walk away I'd still be right here waiting
Searching for the things to say to keep you right here waiting

I hope you're not intending
To be so condescending it's as much as i can take
and you're so independent
you just refuse to bend so I keep bending till I break

But you always find a way to keep me right here waiting
You always find the words to say to keep me right here waiting
And if you chose to walk away I'd still be right here waiting
Searching for the things to say to keep you right here waiting

I've made a commitment
I'm willing to bleed for you
I needed fulfillment
I found what I need in you

Why can't you just forgive me
I don't want to relive all the mistakes I've made along the way
But I always find a way to keep you right here waiting
I always find the words to say to keep you right here waiting

But you always find a way
To keep me right here waiting
You always find the words to say to keep me right here waiting
And if I chose to walk away would you be right here waiting
Searching for the things to say to keep me right here waiting

Paper Jesus

You take this all for granted. All the things that used to be you. By keeping you distracted just long
enough to bleed you.

A reason for your anger, it's what I need, it's what I need. To recognize the truth it's what I need,
it's what I need. So burn your paper Jesus its what I need, it's what I need, and all the things you do,
its what I need, its what I need.

Don't believe what they tell you, all the lies that they are teaching, when the make the corporations all
the desperate people stealing.

Somebody chose these words for you. Interpretations of the truth. Somewhere behind your fear they hide.
To fill the holes inside.

Schizophrenic Conversations

Are you afraid, afraid of the truth
In the mirror staring back at you.
The image is cracked but so is the view, yeah.
The strength of a tree begins in the roots
That I tend bury into you
At least now the storm can't blow me away.

So crawl inside my head with me.
I'll show you how it feels to be,
To blame like me.

Should I be afraid of this face that I see
In the mirror staring back at me?
So cold are the days where I listen to you.
And you say that I'm weak show me the proof
Because I still exist in spite of you
But I won't compete with you every day.

Schizophrenic conversations that
I'm always having with myself.
I hear these voices in my head are competing.
Maybe I could use a little help
I still have schizophrenic conversations
Where there's no one else around to hear.
I long for solitude and peace within me
Void of all the anger and the fear.

So crawl inside my head with me.
I'll show you how it feels to be,
Fucked up like me.

I'll show you how it feels to be
To blame like me
Ashamed like me

Falling

You in your shell are you waiting for someone to rescue you from yourself. Don't be disappointed when no
one comes.

Don't blame me you didn't get it [3x]

I already told you, that falling is easy its getting back up that becomes the problem, becomes the
problem and if you don't believe that you can find a way out you become the problem, become the problem.

You, all alone, are you waiting for someone to make you whole? Can't you see aren't you tired of this
dysfunctional routine.

I already told you, that falling is easy its getting back up that becomes the problem, becomes the
problem and if you believe that you can find a way out you you solve the problem, solve the problem.

Cross to Bear

Twisted, turning, crashing, burning, all this just to break me down.

You don't know me you don't see me you don't know me because I don't care. But I'm still here, patiently
waiting for you to disappear. Is this my cross to bear?

Faceless, faking, pressure, taking, all this just to bring me down.

I'm still here, reluctantly waiting for you to interfere. Is this my cross to bear?

Devil

She sleeps alone again her eyes are fast not to pretend that all she used to live for was a love she
couldn't bear. In that time of need she does those things she needs to fill the void inside of her because
he was never there

She says I swear I'm not the devil, who do you think I am? I swear I'm not the devil [2x]

He's fast asleep again and he wonders when the pain will end the creaks they may run deeper than his ??
will ever show.

All the people hypnotize and wonder what can save him from his self created hell.

And he says I swear I'm not the devil, who do you think I am? I swear I'm not the devil. [2x]

I always failed to see the little things in front of me the things that mean so much to you wait to let
you know. That I appreciate the way you always tolerate but sometimes when I medicate the frustration in
you shows me how you feel.

But I swear I'm not the devil, although you think I am. I swear I'm not the devil and I scream, I swear
I'm not the devil. Who do you think I am? I swear I'm not the devil.

Please

Failed to see I'm sick of this chances are you are oblivious to how I feel standing on your throne and
I'm sure that I'm not alone, not alone, not alone.

Tell me please, who the fuck did you want me to be? Was there something I couldn't see? Never knew this
would be so political and please I'm still wearing this miserable skin and its starting to come from
within but it's obvious that doesn't bother you, so please

I didn't think that you'd sell me out now I know what you're all about. You might feel in control of
things. But you're not holding all the strings. All the strings, all the strings.

Swallow all your anger I've swallowed all my pride you used up all your chances to keep this all inside
tell me please.

So please don't be telling me its ok I don't buy all the shit that you say and quite honestly I'm fucking
sick of it so please if I cut off this nose from my face then I wouldn't feel so out of place but it still
wouldn't be quite enough for you, so please.

Everything Changes

If you just walked away
What could I really say?
Would it matter anyway?
Would it change how you feel?

I'm the mess you choose
The profit you cannot close,
The devil in you I suppose
Because the wounds never heal.

[Chorus:]
But everything changes
If I could turn back the years
If you could learn to forgive me
Then I could learn to feel,

Sometimes the things I say
In moments of disarray
Succumbing to the games we play
To make sure that it's real.

[Chorus]

When it's just me and you.
Who knows what we could do.
If we can just make it through
The toughest part of the day.

[Chorus]

Stay here together
And we could
Conquer the world
If we could
Say that forever
Is more than just a word.

If you just walked away
What I could really say?
It wouldn't matter anyway.
It wouldn't change how you feel.

King of All Excuses

You, I trusted your intentions the trust you took advantage of now you are sitting in the hole that you
dug around yourself.

You lie so much you think it's true and you know what the truth is. How does someone get to be like you,
the king of all excuses?

Dark deception caught inside the web you have spun. Did you forget you have a family, the damage you have
done.

I trusted you. I trusted in you. ??

Everything must come full circle it kills me that I feel this hurtful I wonder what you're children think
of you, the king of all excuses.

Reply

I have seen to many sad eyes look at me,
Eyes that set me free,
All the places that I've been.

Thank you for the letters that you thought you wrote in vain
And times you chose to stand out in the rain and wait for me,
For me.

Your words,
Your words help me to see
A little honesty
In a world that doesn't share
And those eyes
Tell the story of your pain
Severity of your disdain
In a world that doesn't care.

So thank you for the letters that you thought you wrote in vain
And times you chose to stand out in the rain and wait

We, we understand my pain.
From this I gather strength,
That we are the same.

So thank you for the letters that you thought you wrote in vain
And times you chose to stand out in the rain and wait

The life I live will never be the same without you

14 Shades of Grey [2003]

2005-10-31T04:32:00.000-08:00

Price to Play

Fail to see how destructive we can be
Taking without giving back til the damage can be seen
Can you see? Can you see?

The more you take, the more you blame
But everything still feels the same
The more you hurt the more you scream
The price you pay to play the game
Then all you see and all you gave
And all you step on will know shame
There are no rules, no one to blame
The price to play the game

Empathy, the chosen way to be
Blindly look the other way
While you waste away with me
Can you see? Can you see?

The more you take, the more you blame
But everything still feels the same
The more you hurt, the more you scream
The price you pay to play the game
Then all you see and all you gave
And all you step on will know shame
There are no rules, no one to blame
The price to play the game

What you pay to play the game
What you pay to play the game
What you pay to play the game
What you pay to play the game

The more you take, the more you blame
But everything still feels the same
The more you hurt, the more you scream
The price you pay to play the game
Then all you see and all you gave
And all you step on will know shame
There are no rules, no one to blame
The price to play the game

What you pay to play the game
What you pay to play the game
What you pay to play the game
What you pay to play the game

How About You

If someone else showed you the way,
would you take the wheel and steer?
It hurts me that you're not ashamed,
of what you're doing here.
If they jumped off a bridge,
would you meet them on the ground?
Or would try to claim,
that it never made a sound?

Everyone plays the hand they're dealt.
And learns to walk through life themselves.
Not everything in life is,
handed on a plate.
When people think your words are true,
it doesn't matter what you do.
I sold my soul to get here.
How about you?

So you choose to force your hand.
What a strange way to make friends.
Have you always changed the rules,
so the drama never ends?
And you blindly go through life,
judging only by its worth.
Just try not to forget,
that the meek inherit earth.

Everyone plays the hand they're dealt.
And learns to walk through life themselves.
Not everything in life is,
handed on a plate.
When people think your words are true,
it doesn't matter what you do.
I sold my soul to get here.
How about you?

So please don't take offense;
this is just a point of view.
'Cause I'm the only one who will say
these things to you.

Everyone plays the hand they're dealt.
And learns to walk through life themselves.
Not everything in life is,
handed on a plate.
When people think your words are true,
it doesn't matter what you do.
I sold my soul to get here.
How about you?

So Far Away

This is my life.
It's not what it was before.
All these feelings I've shared.
And these are my dreams,
that I've never lived before.
Somebody shake me 'cause I,
I must be sleeping.

Now that we're here,
it's so far away.
All the troubles we thought was in vain.
And and the mistakes,
one life contained;
they all finally start to go away.
Now that we're here,
it's so far away.
And I feel like I can face the day.
And I can't believe,
that I'm not ashamed
to be the person that I am today.

These are my words,
that I've never said before.
I think I'm doing OK.
And this is the smile,
that I've never shown before.
Somebody shake me 'cause I,
I must be sleeping.

Now that we're here,
it's so far away.
All the troubles we thought was in vain.
And and the mistakes,
one life contained;
they all finally start to go away.
Now that we're here,
it's so far away.
And I feel like I can face the day.
And I can't believe,
that I'm not ashamed
to be the person that I am today.

I'm so afraid of waking.
Please don't shake me.
Afraid of waking.
Please don't shake me.

Now that we're here,
it's so far away.
All the troubles we thought was in vain.
And and the mistakes,
one life contained;
they all finally start to go away.
Now that we're here,
it's so far away.
And I feel like I can face the day.
And I can't believe,
that I'm not ashamed
to be the person that I am today.

Yesterday

You don't know
What you've put me through
It's okay
I've forgiven you
But in some way
Hope it fucks with you
Hope it fucks with you

That I'm okay
And I've made it through
But who's to say
What you're going through
I'll say no names
Though I've wanted to
Isn't it strange
How it seems like

Yesterday
A boy and already afraid
Locked deep inside
My place to hide
To hide from how you made me feel
And I wonder
How's your brother
Did he end up fucked up like me
Lost in himself
Crying for help
It's safe to say

I learned to
Live without a pride
Just a shell
With me stuck inside
A prison
Not a place to hide
Not a place to hide

That I'm okay
And I've made it through
But who's to say
What you're going through
I'll say no names
Though I've wanted to
Isn't it strange
How it seems like

Yesterday
A boy and already afraid
Locked deep inside
My place to hide
To hide from how you made me feel
And I wonder
How's your brother
Did he end up fucked up like me
Lost in himself
Crying for help
It's safe to say

Yesterday
A boy and already afraid
Locked deep inside
My place to hide
To hide from how you made me feel
And I wonder
How's your brother
Did he finally pull through like me
Finding himself
Not needing help
I'd like to say

Fray

I know
That it never goes away
All I feel
Everything I'm not today
So I try and I try
To make everything right
I don't feel like I'm doing it
It affects me

You wouldn't listen even if I told you
Who the fuck am I to say
You're to busy with the lies they sold you
Another cure to fix your day
Open wide for all the shit they feed you
While the TV defecates
And blindly walk wherever they will lead you
While the edges slowly fray

I know
That everything can change
What I need
Ts to open up again
So never again
Will I look back in vain
Cause today's not the past
I don't need to relive it

You wouldn't listen even if I told you
Who the fuck am I to say
You're to busy with the lies they sold you
Another cure to fix your day
Open wide for all the shit they feed you
While the TV defecates
And blindly walk wherever they will lead you
While the edges slowly fray

Are you satisfied
I've given all I can
And are you pacified
Or do you want more from me

You wouldn't listen even if I told you
Who the fuck am I to say
You're to busy with the lies they sold you
Another cure to fix your day
Open wide for all the shit they feed you
While the TV defecates
And blindly walk wherever they will lead you
While the edges slowly fray

I've learned
That this life's not just a game
Just a line
Between the pleasures and the pain

You wouldn't listen even if I told you
Who the fuck am I to say
You're to busy with the lies they sold you
Another cure to fix your day
Open wide for all the shit they feed you
While the TV defecates
And blindly walk wherever they will lead you
While the edges slowly fray

Zoe Jane

Well I want you to notice
To notice when I'm not around
And I know that your eyes see straight through me
And speak to me without a sound

I want to hold you
Protect you from all of the things I've already endured
And I want to show you
To show you all of the things that this life has in store for you
I'll always love you
The way that a father should love his daughter

When I walked out this morning
I cried as I walked to the door
I cried about how long I'd be away for
I cried about leaving you all alone

I want to hold you
Protect you from all of the things I've already endured
And I want to show you
To show you all of the things that this life has in store for you
I'll always love you
The way that a father should love his daughter

Sweet Zoe Jane
Sweet Zoe Jane

So I wanted to say this
Cause I wouldn't know where to begin
To explain to you what I have been through
To explain where your daddy has been

So I want to hold you
Protect you from all of the things I've already endured
And I want to show you
To show you all of the things that this life has in store for you
I'll always love you
The way that a father should love his daughter

Sweet Zoe Jane
Sweet Zoe Jane

Fill Me Up

I just had to let you know.
'Cause I don't always let it show.
You give me needed room to grow.
And I just had to tell you so.

You fill me up.
You're in my veins.
A look could take my breath away.
And all these things,
you give away;
sometimes I take for granted.

It's just like poetry inside,
to hear you breathing by my side.
Like I'm in heaven and I've died.
So glad you're with me for this ride.

You fill me up.
You're in my veins.
A look could take my breath away.
And all these things,
you give away;
sometimes I take for granted.

I see your face to start my day.
It makes all my bad dreams go away.
And all the stupid games we play;
wouldn't have it any other way.

You fill me up.
You're in my veins.
A look could take my breath away.
And all these things,
you give away;
sometimes I take for granted.

You fill me up.
You're in my veins.
A look could take my breath away.
And all these things,
you give away;
sometimes I take for granted.

Layne

I heard today that you were gone.
I had to stop and sing along
the song they played to say goodbye.
A song that gave,
it gave me back life.

You'll never fade.
The words you gave.
My life you saved.
Your name was Layne.

And on that day a child was born.
To someone who you helped along.
And helped see through his darkest times.
Because of you,
this child she is mine.

You'll never fade.
The words you gave.
My life you saved.
Your name was Layne.

The words you said,
you made me feel like they were all for me.
The words you said,
they will always be a part of me.
The words you said,
you made me feel like I was not alone.
The words you said,
you gave me all the strength to carry on.

So to me you'll never fade.
Your life you gave.
My life you saved.
Your name was Layne.

Falling Down

What's happened to you
It's obvious you've changed
Something deep inside you is probably to blame
Must be lonely up there
With your head up in the clouds
Even though you got there
What does your conscience tell you now

It's never the same on the way down
How does it feel when your feet finally hit the ground
When all thof your bridges aren't around
And the sandcastles you built are falling down

You had us all sitting right there in your hand
But you had to fall because that's how life is
Got your fingers burned by burning candles at both ends
Now the table's turned and now your demons are your friends

It's never the same on the way down
How does it feel when your feet finally hit the ground
When all thof your bridges aren't around
And the sandcastles you built are falling down

So now I question what you're gonna do
Now that everthing's gone up with you
You believe the shit you say is true
But everybody's on to you
Life remember everything you do
Your karma has caught up with you

It's never the same on the way down
How does it feel when your feet finally hit the ground
When all thof your bridges aren't around
And the sandcastles you built are falling down

Reality

The lights are one.
But you're not home.
You've drifted off,
somewhere alone.
Somewhere that safe.
The questions here.
A quiet place,
where you hide from your fears.

Sometimes when you're out of rope,
the way to climb back up's unclear.
The walls you build around yourself;
I guess they all protect you here.
Are you afraid of what they think?
Whoever "they" happen to be?
Or are you hiding from,
the scars of,
your own reality?

So you sedate.
And drown in vain.
You've got a pill,
for everything.
A suit and tie,
to mask the truth.
It's ugly head,
is starting to show through.

Sometimes when you're out of rope,
the way to climb back up's unclear.
The walls you build around yourself;
I guess they all protect you here.
Are you afraid of what they think?
Whoever "they" happen to be?
Or are you hiding from,
the scars of,
your own reality?

The monster you're feeding,
your lack of perception,
the things you will do to fulfill addictions.
The light at the end of your tunnel is closing.
What is it you're so afraid of exposing?
You'd give it all up for
what's there for the taking.
Whatever it takes to keep your hands from shaking.
The same things you're thinking
might make you feel better.
The same things that probably got you here.

Sometimes when you're out of rope,
the way to climb back up's unclear.
The walls you build around yourself;
I guess they all protect you here.
Are you afraid of what they think?
Whoever "they" happen to be?
Or are you hiding from,
the scars of,
your own reality?

The monster you're feeding,
your lack of perception,
the things you will do to fulfill addictions.
The light at the end of your tunnel is closing.
What is it you're so afraid of exposing?
You'd give it all up for
what's there for the taking.
Whatever it takes to keep your hands from shaking.
The same things you're thinking
might make you feel better.
The same things that probably got you here.

Tonight

Just try to understand this isn't what I planned
This ride's out of my hands
So now I'm forced to be something I cannot be
If onl I could make you see

Tonight I'm alive
I've watched you all grow up and so have I
Inside this isn't really what I had in mind

I no longer realate to this world of hate
That's forced upon my plate
I tend to disagree
I hope it's just not me alone
If only I could make you see

Tonight I'm alive
I've watched you all grow up and so have I
Inside this isn't really what I had in mind

Tonight I'm alive
I've watched you all grow up and so have I
Inside this isn't really what I had in mind

Tonight I'm alive
I've watched you all grow up and so have I
Inside this isn't really what I had in mind
I had in mind

Could It Be

Well I odn't know what to say.
Because there's truth to what you say.
I know it kills you I'm this way.
It's something different every day.

Could it be that
I never had the chance to grow inside?
Could it be that
my habit is to find a place to hide?
Could it be that
sometimes I say things just to disagree?
Could it be that
I'm only being me?

Not easy living in my mind.
A little peace is hard to find.
My every thought is undermined
by all the history inside

Could it be that
I never had the chance to grow inside?
Could it be that
my habit is to find a place to hide?
Could it be that
sometimes I say things just to disagree?
Could it be that
I'm only being me?

I know I hear the words you say
over and over again.
I just can't get them through my head;
there's just too many voices.
Must be like living with the dead,
waiting for me to begin.
To do the things that I have said.
And for this I'm sorry.
So there's some truth to what you say...

Could it be that
I never had the chance to grow inside?
Could it be that
my habit is to find a place to hide?
Could it be that
sometimes I say things just to disagree?
Could it be that
I'm only being me?

Blow Away

Live in my head for just one day
I see myself and look away
The road is showing now on my face
Soon I'll disappear
I'll disappear without a fucking trace

Faces that I've seen turn old and grey
I've lost too many friends along the way
Memories I never thought would fade
They fade and blow away

I wish that I could disappear
Unzip my skin and leave it here
So I could be no one again
And never let nobody
I'd let nobody
I'd let nobody in

Faces that I've seen turn old and grey
I've lost too many friends along the way
Memories I never thought would fade
They fade and blow away

So now the walls are closing in
Because in life you sink or swim
Sometimes these shoes don't feel right in my head
Feel like a book that can't be
A book that can't be
A book that can't be read

Faces that I've seen turn old and grey
I've lost too many friends along the way
Memories I never thought would fade
They fade and blow away

Intro

Thank you to the people in my life
For putting up with me
And thank you for the time you sacrificed
All on the account of me

For all the times I didn't say
The times I didn't say
For all the times I didn't say
The times I didn't say

Fuck you to the jaded and the fake
Like to see what you would do
Fuck you and the judgements that you make
We're not all perfect just like you
Like you
Like you

Faces that I've seen turn old and grey
I've lost too many friends along the way
Memories I never thought would fade
They fade and blow away

All the times I didn't say
All the times I didn't say
Thank you to the people in my life for putting with me

Break The Cycle [2001]

2005-10-31T04:25:00.000-08:00

Open Your Eyes

As I walk along these streets
I see a man that walks alone
Distant echo of people's feet
He has no place to call his own
A shot rings out from a roof overhead
A crackhead asks for change nearby
An old man lies in an alleyway dead
A little girl lost just stands there and cries

What would you do, if it was you
Would you take everything
For granted like you do

A boy just 13 on the corner for sale
Swallows his pride for another hit
Overpopulation there's no room in jail
But most of you don't give a shit
That your daughters are porno stars
And your sons sell death to kids
You're so lost in your little worlds
Your little worlds you'll never fix

You turn away
As I walk along the streets
Soaking up the acid rain
Underneath the taxi cabs
I hear the streets cry out in vain

Pressure

I just need this to be all right
I can't feel this another night

I can't take this I come unglued
I might breakdown in front of you
Necessary to medicate
I'm not sleeping can't stay awake

Can't see through this
Too much pressure
Drowning in this

Too much pressure
If you need me I'll be here
Half unconscious to escape my fear

My head hurts this shit isn't getting me high
My chest is so tight I think I am going to die
My stomach's in knots and the room starts to spin
As I wait for this valium to slowly kick in

Fade

I try to breathe
Memories overtaking me
I try to face them but
The thought is too
Much to conceive

I only know that I can change
Everything else just stays the same
So now I step out of the darkness
That my life became 'cause

I just needed someone to talk to
You were just too busy with yourself
You were never there for me to
Express how I felt
I just stuffed it down
Now I'm older and I feel like
I could let some of this anger fade
But it seems the surface
I am scratching
Is the bed that I have made

So where were you
When all this I was going through
You never took the time to ask me
Just what you could do

It's Been Awhile

It's been a while
Since I could...
Hold my head up high
It's been a while
Since I first saw you
It's been a while
Since I could stand
On my own two feet again
And it's been a while
Since I could call you

And everything I can remember
As fucked up as it all may seem
Consequences that I've rendered
Have stretched myself beyond my means

It's been a while
Since I could say
That I wasn't addicted
It's been a while
Since I could say
I loved myself as well and...
It's been a while
Since I've gone and fucked things up
Just like I always do
It's been a while
But all that shit seems to disappear when I'm with you

And everything I can remember
As fucked up as it all may seem
Consequences that I've rendered
Gone and fucked things up again... again

Why must I feel this way?
Just make this go away
Just one more peaceful day
But then I go an fuck things up again

It's been a while
Since I could...
Look at myself straight
It's been a while
Since I said I'm sorry
It's been a while
Since I've seen the way
The candles light your face
It's been a while
But I can still
Remember just the way you taste

Everything I can remember
As fucked up as it all may seem
To me... I know this pain
Can I blame this on my father?
He did the best he could for me

It's been a while
Since I could...
Hold my head up high
It's been a while
Since I said I'm sorry

Change

If ever you had said to me before
That I would live this life that I am
Living now I guess it's all so strange
To feel the way I do inside but
Have so much that I could feel some
Pride for in my life so why is it that
I feel like this

How do I feel? I've been here before,
I've felt this
Retreat to a place, a place within me
I need this. keep it all down, bottled inside
It breaks me to torment again and
Torture me like it used to

I try and try to break away from all the hate
I'm feeling for everyone of you that's ever
Done me wrong. I need to justify the reasons
For the way I'm living. I guess I can't cause
I don't feel like I deserve it

So now the waves they have subsided
And my soul is bleeding I can't take away
The shame I feel, forgive me

Can't Believe

Respect, respect what is found
Respect should abound
Respect everything that you leave
I can't believe
Can't believe
And i, I can't believe
I can't believe all the travesty
Surrounding me, i, I want to flee
I want to flee from everything
In front of me i
Can't believe
Never again, trusted in you
Fuck everything that you think I should be
I stand, never again, never again

Can't believe

Epiphany

Your words to me just a whisper
Your face is so unclear
I try to pay attention
Your words just disappear

'cause it's always raining in my head
Forget all the things I should have said

So I speak to you in riddles
'cause my words get in my way.
I smoke the whole thing to my head
And feel it wash away
'cause I can't take anymore of this,
I want to come apart,
Or dig myself a little hole
Inside your precious heart

'cause it's always raining in my head
Forget all the things I should have said

I am nothing more than
A little boy inside
That cries out for attention,
Yet I always try to hide
'cause I talk to you like children,
Though I don't know how I feel
But I know I'll do the right thing
If the right thing is revealed

'cause it's always raining in my head
Forget all the things I should have said

Suffer

Suffer

The more you see the more you do
The television's feeding you. with what
You want to hear, anger and fear, because you suffer

The hate you feel won't go away you're all programmed to
Feel this way to live another day within a world
That loves to suffer

And then I come to find everything's o.k. seen this all
Before but that was yesterday. I try to walk right
Through the messes that I've made just let me enjoy
The life here that I've made

I've tried to give it all to you. can't take anymore to do
With this. it hurts inside. I know why I hide 'cause
I suffer

I tried to keep it all inside didn't leave me too much
Pride forced it all down inside forced myself to make
Me suffer

And then I come to find everything's o.k. seen this all
Before but that was yesterday. I try to walk right
Through the messes that I've made just let me enjoy
The life here that I've made

And then I come to find

Safe Place

Another day
Inside my world
I'm married to
you and this road.
A road that never lets
me sleep .
So theres no way to escape the
demons I am forced to keep.

And then I find you here
Through your eyes
Everything's clear
And I'm home
Inside your arms,
But I'm alone for now.

I mean the best
with what I say.
It doesn't always
sound that way
I never learned to
Work things out cause
In my family all we
Ever seem to do is shout

But then I find you here
Through your eyes,
everythings clear
And I'm home
inside your arms,
but I'm alone for now.

And when I try to sleep-
the drugs I take
are killing me - I think of you
to ease my pain -
but you're so far-
Now it's time to say goodbye.
I love you baby
please don't cry -
'cause then I'll find you here -
Through your eyes everythings clear -
and I'm home inside your arms - but I'm alone for now.

But then I find you here
Through your eyes,
everythings clear
And I'm home
inside your arms,
but I'm alone for now.

For You

To my mother to my father
It's your son or it's your daughter
Are my screams loud enough for
You to hear me? should I turn this up for you?

I sit here locked inside my head
Remembering everything you've said
The silence gets us nowhere,
Gets up nowhere way too fast.

The silence is what kills me
I need someone here to help me
But you don't know how to listen
And let me make my decision

I sit here locked inside my head
Remembering everything you've said
The silence gets us nowhere,
Gets up nowhere way too fast.

All your insults and your curses
Make me feel like I'm not a person.
And I feel like I am nothing.
But you made me so do something.
Cause I'm fucked up because you are
I need attention, attention you couldn't give.

I sit here locked inside my head
Remembering everything you've said
The silence gets us nowhere,
Gets up nowhere way too fast.

I sit here locked inside my head
Remembering everything you've said
The silence gets us nowhere,
Gets up nowhere way too fast.

Outside

And you bring me to my knees, again
All this time that I could beg you please, in vain
All the times that I felt insecure, for you
And I leave my burdens at the door

I'm on the outside
I'm looking in
I can see through you
See your true colors
'cause inside you're ugly
Ugly like me
I can see through you
See to the real you

All this time that I felt like this wont end
It's for you
And I taste what I could never have
Was from you
All those times that I tried
My intentions
Full of pride
And I waste more time than anyone

I'm on the outside
I'm looking in
I can see through you
See your true colors
Cause inside you're ugly
Ugly like me
I can see through you
See to the real you

All the times that I cried
All this wastin
It's all inside
And I feel all this pain
Stuffed it down
It's back again
And I lie here in bed
All alone
I cant mend but I feel
Tomorrow will be okay

I'm on the outside
I'm looking in
I can see through you
See your true colors
Inside you're ugly
Ugly like me
I can see through you
See to the real you

Waste

Your mother came up to me
She wanted answers only she should know
Only she should know

It wasn't easy to deal
With the tears that rolled down her face
I had no answers 'cause
I didn't even know you

But these words
They can't replace
The life you...
...the life you waste

How could you paint this picture?
Was life as bad as it should seem
That there were no more options for you
I can't explain how I feel
I've been there many times before
I've tasted the cold steel of my life crashing down before me

But these words
They can't replace
The life you...
...the life you waste

Did Daddy not love you?
Or did he love you just too much?
Did he control you?
Did he live through you at your cost?
Did he leave no questions for you to answer on your own?

WELL FUCK THEM!
AND FUCK HER!
AND FUCK HIM!
AND FUCK YOU!
For not having
The strength in your heart
To pull through!
I've had doubts!
I have failed!
I've fucked up!
I've had plans!
Doesn't mean
I should take
My Life
With my own hands

But these words
They can't replace
The life you...
...the life you waste

But these words
The don't replace
The life you...
THE LIFE YOU WASTE

Take It

I feel like this won't go away
No matter how hard I try
To squeeze my eyes shut
So I can't see the pain
In you this pain in me - in me

But everything that I can say to you
Won't help you - everything you need is right in front of you
Just take it

I know that I am really not here
To represent what I am not clear
About in my head sometimes
I feel fucked up just like you do - like you do

But everything that I can say to you
Won't help you - everything you need is right in front of you
Just take it

Try to make it through the daily pain
That you feel - maybe tomorrow won't be so bad.
It know it
'cause I once felt that way
Nothing I could say
Made it go away
I lived through this
I still feel this
I just live for my tomorrow

Make it go away
Just make it go away
She'll make it go away

Dysfunction [1999]

2005-10-31T04:17:00.000-08:00

Suffocate

I feel nothing
Longing for something
Lie in bed to take your clothes off
Show me what you’re made of
Just to soothe me

(All alone)
Leave me here I'm dying
(All alone)
Just kicked me in my face
(All alone)
All alone and crying
(All alone)
I suffocate

I'm not gifted
Slightly twisted
Try hard try hard
To see if I can push you any further
Just to soothe me

(All alone)
Leave me here I'm dying
(All alone)
Just kicked me in my face
(All alone)
All alone and crying
(All alone)
I suffocate

Please believe you'll save me, rearrange me
I can feel your feelings running through me
Take away my sorrow my tomorrow
Heal me

(All alone)
Leave me here I'm dying
(All alone)
Just kicked me in my face
(All alone)
All alone and crying
(All alone)
I suffocate

I'm suffocating
SUFFOCATE (come suffocate)

Just Go

I'm kinda numb
It’s so distorted
You left me here with this damage that you've caused
My tortured faces
I’ve fucked up places
In my memories none of them I've lost, but...

I haven't been here long enough to know
Everytime I feel this I just lose control
Such a cancer on the face of everything that's beautiful
I wish that this would just go, go.

It's kinda sick
I feel so dirty
I'm kinda tragic kinda insecure
But I know that I'm the only
One that can fix whatever's wrong I'm sure, but...

I haven't been here long enough to know
Everytime I feel this I just lose control
Such a cancer on the face of everything that's beautiful
I wish that this would just go, go.

I feel so alone
From all I've become
I'll take you down
I'll feel so down
I'm water while you drown
You're lifted while I'm down
I'm cancer in your womb
I'm the needle in your spoon, but...

I haven't been here long enough to know
Everytime I feel this I just lose control
Such a cancer on the face of everything that's beautiful
I wish that this would just go, go.

Just
Just
Just
Just go
Go
Go

All these fucking (lies 3x)
All your fucking (lies 3x)

Me

I hear you talk about your family life
I wish I knew just what that means
I guess my mother never loved my dad
And now I wear it on my sleeve

My sister called me just the other day
It felt so good to hear her voice
My problem is I don't have much to say
I guess she doesn't have a choice, and I'm sorry

Look at me I'm so pathetic
I can't believe I'm just an addict
I've never needed anyone to help me
I'm begging you to please come save me from myself, save me from my...

My mothers always tried to change herself
She never learned to let things be
She doesn't know how bad she messed me up
'Cause now she seems so fake to me but I love her

Look at me I'm so pathetic
I can't believe I'm just an addict
I've never needed anyone to help me
I'm begging you to please come save me from myself, save me from myself

If you push me then I won't fall
I've been programmed to take it all
And shove it way down inside

Like my father (2x)

I'm so pathetic
I can't believe I'm just an addict
I've never needed anyone to help me (I'm failing it)
I'm begging you to please come save me from myself

I hear you talk about your family life
I wish I knew just what that means

Raw

RAW

The pictures left with me won't fade
These images affect me every day
Cause of you I feel I don’t deserve
The life I see in her

Just don't leave me
RAW

Inside I'm so cold
Inside I'm so cold

RAW

I've never been someone who knows
My choices haunt me everywhere I go
Finally did something right for myself
My life to you no one else

Just don't leave me
RAW

Inside I'm so cold
Inside I'm so cold

I'm so cold
I feel so cold

I CAN'T TAKE THIS
RAW
I feel so...

Inside I'm so cold
Inside I'm so cold

RAW

I feel so…

RAW

Mudshovel

You take away
I feel the same

You take away
I feel the same
All the promises you made to me you made in vain
I lost myself inside your tainted smile again

Cause you can't feel my ANGER
You can't feel my pain
You can't feel my torment
Driving me insane
I can't fight these feelings they will bring you pain
You can't take away
Make me whole again

I feel betrayed
Stuck in your ways
And you rip me apart
With the brutal things you say
I can't deal with shit anymore
I just look away

Cause you can't feel my ANGER
You can't feel my pain
You can't feel my torment
Driving me insane
I can't fight these feelings they bring only pain
You can't take away
Make me whole again

Mudshovel

You take away
I feel the same
All these promises
You promised only pain
If you take away
And leave me with nothing again

'Cause you can't feel my ANGER
You can't feel my pain
You can't feel my torment
Driving me insane
I can't fight these feelings they will bring you pain
You can't take away
Make me whole again

You will feel my anger
You will feel my pain
You will feel my torment
Driving you insane
I can't fight these feelings they will bring you pain
You won't take away
I'll be whole again

Mudshovel

Home

I force myself through another day
Can’t explain the way today just fell apart like everything
Right in my face
And I try to be the one
I can't accept this all because of you
I've had to walk away
From everything

I'm afraid to be alone
Afraid you'll leave me when I'm gone
I'm afraid to come back home

Another sleepless night again
Hotel rooms my only friend
And friends like that just don't add up
To anything
And I try so hard to be everything
That I should never take away from you again
'Cause I heard ya say

I'm afraid to be alone
Afraid you'll leave me when I'm gone
I'm afraid to come back home

I cannot forget
I live with regret
I cannot forget
I live with...

I'll live through this
I can't see through this
I can't do this anymore

I'm afraid to be alone
Afraid you'll leave me when I'm gone
I'm afraid to come back home

Afraid you'll leave me when I'm gone
I just wish I was back home
Home

A Flat

Trust In me can’t trust I'm the whore I don't believe it
All my life so scarred what for who you can't conceive it
Everything you fear I’ll be here you couldn't live it
I whisper in your ear so loud, why can't you hear it

I'm OK

All my faith is gone you think I couldn't find it
Pieces falling down shattered now get behind it
In my mind alone, Lost in here I'm separated
Crawl deeper in my hole safe in here from what I hated

All the demons in my head won't leave me
I know I can hear them
All the sacrifices made for nothing
Don’t show can't believe it
Want to show that I'm good for something
I can't you won't let me
Are you running cause your words won't heal me
Because you can't accept me

And I hate myself
And I hate my face
And I hate my world
And I hate my ways

And I
And I
And I

I'M NOT OK!

I'm OK

Trust In me can’t trust I'm the whore I don't believe in
All my life so scarred what for who you can't conceive it
Everything you fear I’ll be here you couldn't live it
I whisper in your ear why can't you feel it

All the demons in my head won't leave me
I know I can hear them
All the sacrifices made for nothing
Don’t show can't believe in
Want to show that I'm good for something
I can't you won't let me
Are you running cause your words won't heal me
Because you can't accept me

I don't believe it (2x)

Crawl

I'm so lonely
You're so beautiful
Not the only
One that's pitiful

Scratched and torn I lay here in pieces
Craving all of your deadly vices
Like to think that I'm not addicted
But I guess I wear it well

And I crawl
While you spit
And I crawl
Through you

Here I am now
Not a lot has changed
Nothing' better
Everything's the same

Late at night I can hear your voices
Talking shit about all my choices
You would think you've known me forever
Just because you know my name

And I crawl
While you spit
And I crawl
Through you

Everything falls apart
Everything... (3x)

Everything falls apart
Everything (3x)

And I crawl
While you spit
And I crawl
Through

Spleen

Can’t breathe!
Shut up (2x)

I feel I give everything to you

Can’t breathe!
Shut up (2x)

I think there’s nothing left to do

Can’t breathe!
Shut up (2x)

I don't like today, take it all away
Just like what you say - I don't want you

Kinda like the way, everything is gray
Just like what you say - I don't need you

I don't look like you, do the things you do
But I'm fucked up too - I don't need you

Can’t breathe!
Shut up (2x)

I feel you are what’s changed my soul

Can’t breathe!
Shut up (2x)

I think I'll never lose control

Can’t breathe!
Shut up (2x)

I don't like today, take it all away
Just like what you say - I don't want you

Kinda like the way, everything is gray
Just like what you say - I don't need you

I don't look like you, do the things you do
But I'm fucked up too - I don't need you

I don't understand it
You’re killing this planet
The scabs on your face
It’s a fucking disgrace
I blame you (2x)

I blame you (5x)

Can’t breathe!
Shut up (2x)

I'm don't like today, take it all away (shut up)
Just like what you say - I don't want you (shut up)

Kinda like the way, everything is gray (shut up)
Just like what you say - I don't need you (shut up)

I don't look like you, do the things you do (shut up)
But I'm fucked up too - I don't need you (shut up)